Kayla day 60

Another busy day for Mike and I today. Mike started off today by going to see Kayla for 9a cares with his dad. Bob hasn't seen Kayla for a week or so and she grows so fast that she really does look so much bigger every time you see her. We then met up with the rest of the Fye family to see Grandma Knauff in Loveland, she is going to leave on Monday and so the family wanted to hang out with her before she had to head back to Arizona. She has been staying with Randy so we all went up to his house and went to the lake with them. Beautiful day, the weather was just perfect for a day out on the lake, Bobby, Michelle, Aaron and Jason took one of Randy's boats out into the lake for a ride. We then went back to Randy's house and played some games, it's a tradition to always play games when we are with grandma Knauff. While we were in Loveland with family, my mom and dad went to see Kayla at the hospital. Mom was a little upset to see that the nurse didn't try bottle feeds with Kayla that day, she only got the one Mike had given her at 9a. Then she also noticed that the nurse never even unhooked to feeding tube from Kayla's last feed. So not the best info to hear when their only job is to take care of your child yet it still seems they are to busy for even that. Mike and I tried our best to get to Kayla by 8:30p because Kayla was getting stinky and needed a bath. But we got caught in some traffic yet again on the highway on our way to see her. We were able to make it there five minutes before 9p and decided to still do the bath then try the bottle after. So we were able to give Kayla's a quick bath, which we just love because it's another thing that makes us feel like we really are parents. My happiness turned into sadness as Kayla was completely not interested in a bottle and she had only had one other bottle that morning from Mike where she only had about 15cc's. She would literally push the bottle away from her, she would kick it out with her tongue. She even cried a little bit when I was trying to move her into a new position, I was so sad I was actually pleading with her saying, "please Kayla this is the only thing that is keeping you from coming home, please, please just take some of the bottle." I felt horrible for myself having to go through this pain and horrible for asking Kayla to do something she is only learning. We finally gave up on the bottle and hooked her up to the tube feed, I was hoping to make my experience a little better by allowing Kayla to nuzzle while she was getting fed. But that wasn't good because she ended up choking and spitting up a good amount of her feed all over. :( I just wanted to cry, I want the doctors to just let Kayla demand her feedings instead of always hooking her up to the tube. I want to get the tube out of her nose so the nurses don't get to feed her that way anymore. I need to get with a lactation specialist and figure out why Kayla isn't latching on to the breast much anymore. Just a hard end to my day, I still look at her and think I am so lucky to have her as my daughter and that's it's so amazing having her here with us. But I am just done now, and I want to take her home. Kayla is also 5lbs 15oz now meaning she will probably be 6lbs tomorrow, which is just so crazy to me. It's almost hard thinking about her so little any more, she is so big to us now. She was also measured and is 17 1/2 inches long now. Love my sweet sweet Kayla so much can't wait to hold her in my arms for more than an hour. Now I need to work my mind around this sadness and focus on something else. Or I just need a job. :)