Results

Saturday April 14th was our busy day, I had school this Saturday so I was told I could get me blood drawn with out an appointment at the Lone Tree office and get results later that day. In the past we have gotten results around 3 or 4pm. So forgetting about the time requirement for same day results I got the the office around 9:30am and knew I needed to get blood in by 10am. It was a close call since I wasn't called back until after 9:45am, but blood work was done and I was then on my way to class. This cycle has been so different Mike and I have been busy and taking it easy with our thoughts about pregnancy hopes. I had a big resource notebook due for class so I had been focused on that for the last couple of days. Recently I have also gotten a couple of calls from parents looking for child care, so when I got a call from a random number during class with a message I thought it must be another parent. We had a small break between groups in class so I checked my message, not a good idea since the message was results from my blood draw. It was negative yet again, I felt so good about this cycle so hopeful with the third time's a charm and the IUI went better than we thought. So when I got the news I just lost it, which I felt horrible for in class because there was a group presenting and I had to get up and leave class in tears. I really didn't think that call was from the doctors office otherwise I wouldn't have listened to it. I personally felt horrible then also felt bad when the teacher left the presentation to come out and check on me. She said it was fine for me to leave and grabs my bags for me so I could leave which was so sweet. As I am posting this late, it's been a very rough week for me. I have been so sad, I have been feeling depressed and discouraged. Infertility is so hard to understand it's like losing someone you love and it happens so quickly. I go through the grieving process with each negative result and it's hard on me. I know and thank God every every day for our most precious miracle Kayla and we are so grateful for her. I had just pictured my life differently and with more children and get so discouraged when it doesn't happen as well as the money loss since infertility each try cost more than $500. But I am getting to the accepting point now, we are taking an infertility break until after Kayla's birthday in June. We hope to have a small vacation and get our minds off of things for a while and focus on ourselves as well as our wonderful daughter. When we are ready to try again I will let you know. :)