Jordyn Day 12

Happy day with Jordyn today, Mike and I went in for Jordyn's 4pm cares today because Mike had a softball game at 6:15p. We went in about 3pm and Mike held Jordyn while I pumped just a little so I wouldn't be to full to nurse Jordyn. At 4pm I was able to nurse Jordyn again and she is still such a champ. Jordyn nursed for 10 minutes and had no issues at all, yes she still breaths quickly sometimes but she isn't uncomfortable or in distress. Mike and I see how well Jordyn nurses and I know how my flow comes in and we still don't understand why they won't try a bottle with her. We want Jordyn to move forward and it seems they just want to keep her where she is. But I got a call from the NICU nurse tonight and she asked if Mike and I wanted to be there for Jordyn's first bath and I was so thankful that I got a call first, instead of them just doing these things first. But something I wasn't told about was that this nurse had tried a bottle for Jordyn's 7pm cares! I was so pleased that some one had finally tried we just want these nurses to try and move forward, but she noticed that Jordyn started breathing fast again, surprise surprise so she stopped the bottle after only 5cc. So I was very pleased to hear that someone had finally tried but a little discouraged that she didn't try for very long. Jordyn is getting better on her breathing so we are very thankful for that, we also got to visit with Dr. Adelburg she was my perinatalagist and she feels like she put me into labor because she tried to hard to get my cerclage out. I feel if it was meant to be it was meant to be, and feel bad that she feels it was her fault. So we do have some good positives for today, I hope we can continue to see nurses trying bottles. That's where I wish I could just stay with Jordyn all day and just nurse her all day as well, but having another baby at home makes that a bit difficult. Hopefully we can continue to move forward a bit and I can hopefully have my baby girl home before Mother's Day that is my prayer.

Jordyn Day 11

We had a good day today, Mike and I were able to go in for Jordyn's 7pm cares today and because I was able to chat with the nurse practitioner earlier today I was able to finally get the go ahead to nurse Jordyn with a full breast. So so thankful, that we get to finally take a step forward in this NICU process. I have been so down about this NICU experience, I feel God has taught us so much patience in our lives with Kayla being in NICU for three months, with Bailey unknown sicknesses and with small things like budgeting and waiting for even the small things that others might take for granted. I feel that I should for some reason be exempt now and because I made it to 36 weeks I shouldn't have to be tested with patience anymore. So it's a hard place to be when you get angry with God sometimes with not understanding why he chooses to give you these challenges. But I know there will be a reason for it all, it's just a process that I will get to in my own time. I am still so thankful for my three girls and knowing that they are healthy and I will get to bring Jordyn home some day. These weeks have been feeling more like months to me, so when I am able to step back and realize it has only been a little over a week I can take a deep breath. But again so thankful for family, health and an incredible husband that stays stable and consistent in my life which is so nice when it seems so many other things are so all over the place. Jordyn did great at nursing, she latched on and stayed on for 5 to 7 minutes Mike and I watched the monitors like a hawk. But Jordyn did wonderfully with no desats or discomfort, and I knew she would, mom's always know right. :) So I plan to keep that up everyday now and hopefully one of these days I can do two or three. I feel we are getting so close yet we are so far away. Some day my whole family will be home....some day.

Jordyn Day 10

Anger and frustration today, at about 2:30pm I called the NICU because I usually hear from the doctor around 12:30 or 1pm and I hadn't heard anything yet. So I wanted to get an update on Jordyn and was so thankful I called because that nurse tells me they are out of my milk and if I had not called she was just going to give Jordyn formula. ARE YOU KIDDING ME!! I had to call you for you to tell me this, it should be in Jordyn's notes that she does not get anything other than my milk, I am not working this hard to give her formula. I was so mad, so I had to quickly get myself ready so I could get to the hospital before 4pm cares so I could get them more milk. This kind of thing makes me wish I could transfer Jordyn over to Littleton yet again, they always called me to update me on what the plan was for the day or they would tell me a day ahead of time that they were running low on milk and needed more. I was able to get there right at 4pm I had time before to pump for Jordyn so they had some nice warm milk to give her right away when I got there. Then when I got there I had asked how Jordyn was doing for the day, the nurse tells me. "You know your daughter she breathes fast, see if you look at her chest how quickly it rises and falls." My face had to be great to see when I looked back at her, I wanted so bad to say "NO WAY Jordyn breaths fast I had no idea, now I understand why she is in NICU." I of course held out my anger and didn't say a word but really, we are at day 10 in NICU and I feel like they talk to me like I have no idea why Jordyn is in NICU. I just held Jordyn and prayed to whole time, I want her home so bad this the third time I have been so upset that I just wanted to take all her wires off and run out of the hospital with her. I am struggling with the NICU so much and I am so ready to get her out of there. But I have to learn more patience and know it is all in God's timing. On a happy note Mike had Bob, Bobby, David, Adam, Jeremy, Liz and my dad all came over today to put together the shed. I have wanted a shed since we moved into this house 5 years ago and we finally have one! It looks great, it's in the perfect place I am so excited now I want so bad to organize it. But I have to hold myself back I just had two babies a week ago, I have to remember that. :)

Jordyn Day 9

Well surprise, surprise not much of a change for Jordyn today that yesterday it's still the same story. She is still breathing quickly and they won't let her bottle or breast feed yet. The best I got was that I was able to let her nuzzle at the breast and she was a champ, I don't think we will have any issues breastfeeding her. But I just want to bring her home, I never thought she would be in NICU so I diffidently didn't think she would be there this long. So ready for a change!

Jordyn Day 8

Jordyn had a good progress day today. She was able to go off the pressure oxygen and on to a normal oxygen nasal cannula, she is continuing to increase on her feeding amount up to 41cc's. Because her food is increasing the amount of meds she needs is decreasing so she should be able to get her IV's out tomorrow. Lastly the moved her feeding tube from her mouth to her nose which will make it easier for her to feed when we can try. I was hoping we would be able to bottle or breast feed today but they are still concerned with how fast she is breathing and don't want to try yet. She and Brooke are at the same weight right now both 6lbs 4oz, so Jordyn is gaining good weight as well. We have learned that Jordyn takes her time and makes her own rules so we continue to wait and see what the next day brings, then the next day.....we really pray she might be home by the middle of next week. But we will WAIT and see.

One Week Old

Both Brooke and Jordyn are one week old today! Brooke had her first Dr's appointment today and did great! She is already back up to her birth weight of 6lbs 4oz and eating like a champ about 2oz each feeding now. I am still very frustrated with Swedish NICU, I never received a call from the doctor today to see if we were moving forward with bottle feeds or not. So I called and found out that are not wanting to proceed because of Jordyn's breathing rate which has been high ever since she was born. It's hard because one doctor had said maybe this is just Jordyn and how she breathes so it shouldn't keep us back from trying to move forward with her. It seems all doctors have different thoughts on what the next step should be for these babies and I wish they were all on the same page. So no bottle feed today and we are still at the same place we were yesterday.