Jordyn Day 10

Anger and frustration today, at about 2:30pm I called the NICU because I usually hear from the doctor around 12:30 or 1pm and I hadn't heard anything yet. So I wanted to get an update on Jordyn and was so thankful I called because that nurse tells me they are out of my milk and if I had not called she was just going to give Jordyn formula. ARE YOU KIDDING ME!! I had to call you for you to tell me this, it should be in Jordyn's notes that she does not get anything other than my milk, I am not working this hard to give her formula. I was so mad, so I had to quickly get myself ready so I could get to the hospital before 4pm cares so I could get them more milk. This kind of thing makes me wish I could transfer Jordyn over to Littleton yet again, they always called me to update me on what the plan was for the day or they would tell me a day ahead of time that they were running low on milk and needed more. I was able to get there right at 4pm I had time before to pump for Jordyn so they had some nice warm milk to give her right away when I got there. Then when I got there I had asked how Jordyn was doing for the day, the nurse tells me. "You know your daughter she breathes fast, see if you look at her chest how quickly it rises and falls." My face had to be great to see when I looked back at her, I wanted so bad to say "NO WAY Jordyn breaths fast I had no idea, now I understand why she is in NICU." I of course held out my anger and didn't say a word but really, we are at day 10 in NICU and I feel like they talk to me like I have no idea why Jordyn is in NICU. I just held Jordyn and prayed to whole time, I want her home so bad this the third time I have been so upset that I just wanted to take all her wires off and run out of the hospital with her. I am struggling with the NICU so much and I am so ready to get her out of there. But I have to learn more patience and know it is all in God's timing. On a happy note Mike had Bob, Bobby, David, Adam, Jeremy, Liz and my dad all came over today to put together the shed. I have wanted a shed since we moved into this house 5 years ago and we finally have one! It looks great, it's in the perfect place I am so excited now I want so bad to organize it. But I have to hold myself back I just had two babies a week ago, I have to remember that. :)