So frustrated!!

So I got the worse news yesterday. I had my follicle check appointment yesterday at 2:45pm. I was nervous going into it because my biggest worry would be for them to cancel the cycle. When looking at the ultrasound I started crying already, I still have eight on my left and five on my right side. I noticed they were pretty large in size but did notice that I had one taking the lead on each side like last time. This gave me some hope thinking I might be still able to go forward if the others aren't to large. So I was very anxious to get the measurements. After ultrasound my measurements came out to be one at 17mm one at 15mm and one at 14mm. I was happy with this, I have been told before that 18 to 22mm is mature and ready to release so knowing that I only had one that was close at 17mm I should be good. Well I was transferred to the consulting offices and it took a while longer for Lisa to come in and I felt that only meant one thing...bad news. The first thing Lisa my nurse said when she came in was you did so well this cycle, almost to well. She said she talked to Dr. Minjarez and they would like to cancel the rest of this cycle not because I didn't do well but because of my incompetent cervix. I was so mad, I didn't want to cancel I said I know the risks my OB doctor knows the risks. I will get a cerclage early I will get an even better cerclage if twins were to happen and so on. Lisa told me there was nothing I could do, no paper for me to sign, nothing. I am sure my body language was not pleasant, I asked her if I didn't have an incompetent cervix if they would move forward with the cycle, and she said yes. That is where I wanted to cry, I already have infertility issues but now I have to add on the incompetent cervix that won't allow me to continue with what is considered a good cycle. I asked what the biggest risk was with this cycle, they said the risk of twins was 35% and I would be at risk for miscarriage. So I asked yet again if I know the risk I still can't move on? Lisa just shook her head then I was just hopeless. I said there is nothing I can do or say to move forward? Lisa just shook her head, then said that Dr. Minjarez doesn't even want me to do injections next time she only wants to do letrezole which is basically clomid but without the thickened cervical mucus. We never got close with clomid so it makes me nervous that it won't work and will just be a waste of money. But then at the same time if I get more follicles in an injection cycle it might be a waste of money if they don't let us move forward. If you can't sense my frustration it's up there! So I leave the dr's office with no hope and disappointment, I thought I had my own choice. I thought I had more options I never knew that not only would I have to deal with my infertility but that my incompetent cervix would play such an unfortunate role as well. But I have a wonderful husband, mom and friends that have been comforting me during this time and I am so thankful. I will still keep you updated as we figure out new plans.