Jordyn Day 10

Anger and frustration today, at about 2:30pm I called the NICU because I usually hear from the doctor around 12:30 or 1pm and I hadn't heard anything yet. So I wanted to get an update on Jordyn and was so thankful I called because that nurse tells me they are out of my milk and if I had not called she was just going to give Jordyn formula. ARE YOU KIDDING ME!! I had to call you for you to tell me this, it should be in Jordyn's notes that she does not get anything other than my milk, I am not working this hard to give her formula. I was so mad, so I had to quickly get myself ready so I could get to the hospital before 4pm cares so I could get them more milk. This kind of thing makes me wish I could transfer Jordyn over to Littleton yet again, they always called me to update me on what the plan was for the day or they would tell me a day ahead of time that they were running low on milk and needed more. I was able to get there right at 4pm I had time before to pump for Jordyn so they had some nice warm milk to give her right away when I got there. Then when I got there I had asked how Jordyn was doing for the day, the nurse tells me. "You know your daughter she breathes fast, see if you look at her chest how quickly it rises and falls." My face had to be great to see when I looked back at her, I wanted so bad to say "NO WAY Jordyn breaths fast I had no idea, now I understand why she is in NICU." I of course held out my anger and didn't say a word but really, we are at day 10 in NICU and I feel like they talk to me like I have no idea why Jordyn is in NICU. I just held Jordyn and prayed to whole time, I want her home so bad this the third time I have been so upset that I just wanted to take all her wires off and run out of the hospital with her. I am struggling with the NICU so much and I am so ready to get her out of there. But I have to learn more patience and know it is all in God's timing. On a happy note Mike had Bob, Bobby, David, Adam, Jeremy, Liz and my dad all came over today to put together the shed. I have wanted a shed since we moved into this house 5 years ago and we finally have one! It looks great, it's in the perfect place I am so excited now I want so bad to organize it. But I have to hold myself back I just had two babies a week ago, I have to remember that. :)

Jordyn Day 9

Well surprise, surprise not much of a change for Jordyn today that yesterday it's still the same story. She is still breathing quickly and they won't let her bottle or breast feed yet. The best I got was that I was able to let her nuzzle at the breast and she was a champ, I don't think we will have any issues breastfeeding her. But I just want to bring her home, I never thought she would be in NICU so I diffidently didn't think she would be there this long. So ready for a change!

Jordyn Day 8

Jordyn had a good progress day today. She was able to go off the pressure oxygen and on to a normal oxygen nasal cannula, she is continuing to increase on her feeding amount up to 41cc's. Because her food is increasing the amount of meds she needs is decreasing so she should be able to get her IV's out tomorrow. Lastly the moved her feeding tube from her mouth to her nose which will make it easier for her to feed when we can try. I was hoping we would be able to bottle or breast feed today but they are still concerned with how fast she is breathing and don't want to try yet. She and Brooke are at the same weight right now both 6lbs 4oz, so Jordyn is gaining good weight as well. We have learned that Jordyn takes her time and makes her own rules so we continue to wait and see what the next day brings, then the next day.....we really pray she might be home by the middle of next week. But we will WAIT and see.

One Week Old

Both Brooke and Jordyn are one week old today! Brooke had her first Dr's appointment today and did great! She is already back up to her birth weight of 6lbs 4oz and eating like a champ about 2oz each feeding now. I am still very frustrated with Swedish NICU, I never received a call from the doctor today to see if we were moving forward with bottle feeds or not. So I called and found out that are not wanting to proceed because of Jordyn's breathing rate which has been high ever since she was born. It's hard because one doctor had said maybe this is just Jordyn and how she breathes so it shouldn't keep us back from trying to move forward with her. It seems all doctors have different thoughts on what the next step should be for these babies and I wish they were all on the same page. So no bottle feed today and we are still at the same place we were yesterday.

Jordyn Day 6

Jordyn had a wonderful day today, we got a call from the doctor and are happy to say the horrible CPAPP is off!!! Hooray, we sure didn't like that machine and we know Jordyn didn't either, she is on a bit of pressure oxygen now and it is just through nasal canula so we get to see her pretty face now. One thing they didn't tell us on the phone was that Jordyn is also in an open crib so she is maintaining her temp, she is also increasing on feedings everyday and today she is up to 30cc's (one ounce.) So we are getting closer they say that she might be able to feed from a bottle tomorrow so we will have to wait and see, fingers crossed.

Jordyn Day 5

No big changes for Jordyn today, she is still on CPAPP, I wish she could get that off. Mike and I were able to go in and hold her, then she also got a visit from David and Cheryl. They had not met Jordyn yet so it was nice that they could see her, they were at the hospital today because Cheryl's sister delivered her third son at Swedish. They are still increasing Jordyn's feedings everyday so she is getting close to being back at birth weight. Hope we are getting closer, it seems we are so close but so far away from bringing her home.

35 weeks

35 weeks this week and I feel huge. It feels like the babies are finding any unused space possible in my stomach and filling it up. I don't get hungry and all I want to do is sleep all the time. My poor daughter is just the best daughter in the world as she brings me stuffed animals when I drift off on the couch. I can't wait to take her on a walk, or to the park again but am so blessed that she plays so well by herself and thankful for the Disney channel right now too. This period of time will probably be the most amount of time she will watch this much tv. Although I don't sleep much and still scratch all over all the time I am so thankful I am still pregnant. I am beyond excited that I will get to hear my girls cry for the first time as I never got to hear Kayla's for over a week. Then the thought of being able to hold my babies moments after I have them is almost unreal. I had my appointment with Dr. Becker on Wednesday this week, they checked me for group B this apt and made sure I was not dilating. I have been feeling funny, but my blood pressure has stayed steady and low actually. But I was sent over to get blood work to check my liver and gall bladder to make sure I wasn't feeling funny because of a different problem. Everything is coming back normal, I am not dilated at all, my blood work came back normal I just feel this way because I have two babies in me. My group B was also perfect as normal is 0 to 5 and I am 2.99, so everything is really going well. Although I wish I were more hungry these babies need to grow so much and I just never feel like eating, don't worry I do eat I just snack all day. I am getting nervous and excited for next week, I will be 36 weeks on Monday and get my cerclage out. I have about a 50/50 chance of going into labor or keeping them in there. Because it's hard to tell how the babies are positioned now I get to do another ultrasound on Monday as well. They will check approximate weights and see if Baby A is head down. I still pray for that every day but have also accepted that if a c-section is what I need it is meant to be. I would love to stay pregnant until I am 37 weeks because these babies would not have a label of preemie attached them them instead they would both be considered term. But Mike and I are also very ready for their arrival. It is getting so close......so close!